How to say this
Anyone who talks to me regulary, hopefully, will know that I’m not the most tactful person, but I’m going to try.
A few posts ago I was talking about Heaven’s Delight, which I guilted myself into ordering. And I don’t know how else to say this but I shouldn’t have felt guilty and should have saved the £6.40.
It’s billed as a romantic comedy. Now this I can’t confirm this because I’ve not read it all the way through, and there is no way that I’m going to. At least not yet.
The whole thing started because I was incensed that in their Guardian posting Niraj Kapur had failed to mention that Heavan’s Delight was self-published. Now I have nothing against self-publishing. In fact I think it’s a wonderful idea - Bill Liveridge of PundyHouse is planning on doing just that. I help run a company, which offers self-publishing services, and no this isn’t a post about how we could do it better. But self-publishing isn’t for everybody.
And isn’t something to do without getting the basics right. Using Bill as an example - Bill is having his novel proof read by some good people. I’d never offer my proof reading services, as even though I know what the errors are, I can’t spot them from twenty passes like the best proof readers I know. They’d hopefully spot things like ‘4gb’ instead of ‘4GB, as on Heaven’s Delight’s first page.
But things like that don’t stop me reading. What does is bad writing, now this only my opinion and you may disagree. And if you want to make an informed opinion you may want to buy a copy, but I’d suggest waiting until after it’s republished by a more tradional publisher, if the reports of the author prove succesful.
I am actually disapointed because after ordering it I was prepared to be entertained and to eat humble pie and say what a wonderful novel it is. I’d be lying if I did that now I’ve tried to read it.
This novel simply disregards the first rule of writing:
Show. Don’t Tell!
Oh, you can download a sample chapter:
http://www.heavensdelight.co.uk/files/first-chapter.pdf
Is this just me being overly cruel? Or am I hopefully just being realistic about the quality of what I’m reading?
I should add that God and the Devil seems to play a big part, but I’m can’t report how succesful this based on the whole book, but from what I’ve seen - they aren’t handled that well.
Next…
Guff, that. Guff and grim. If that’s what it takes for someone to be a ‘funny’ novelist then sincerely I abdicate and make myself a noose right now. AWFUL.
Here’s what I’d write if I was reviewing this:
Heaven’s Delight: An unfortunate indictment of self-publishing.
I’m sorry, but despite its hype and a cracking self-marketing campaign, Heaven’s Delight is actually a fairly grim example of what happens when–with good reason, in this case–publishing houses reject authors to the point of forcing them into self-publishing.
Self-publishing has its merits, certainly, but in my opinion should under no circumstances involve the submission of a manuscript that a) requires a thoroughly massive editing, b) a fundamental reworking and c)… well. I don’t know what ‘c’ should be, but Heaven’s Delight definitely isn’t anything special and compared to its peers–most of whom are referenced in the acknowledgements–it sort of drowns.
There’s probably some talent here since it’s not completely dire, in any sense. Kapur is obviously imaginative and there are some turns-of-phrase that raised a grin. But as I ploughed my way through I wondered how many romantic comedies must we consume that feature God, Satan and various other clichés that could’ve been nicely executed–and with considerably more of a knowing irony at that–had they first been flagged up by a decent editor.
If *this* is an example of ironic, original, riffing-on-hackneyed-themes post-modern rom-com then I’ll be off now, thanks. It wasn’t commissioned for precisely the reason that it isn’t good enough… but then if, as the favourable reviews above are testament, it makes you feel ‘warm’ and ‘glowy’ then I’d much prefer that you read Nick Hornby or Helen Fielding or some other person of similar stature and experience. It’s all been done before, and in better ways.
I don’t much want to put you off. Self-publishing is a big and brave investment and if you’re as intrigued by it as I was then at least buy and read it. But in terms of significance, as Paul Daniels would possibly say, it’s not a lot.